Home
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Written by Ravi   
Wednesday, 11 June 2008

The latest Indiana Jones movie a disturbing reflection on being incapacitated by age, self abasement and coming to some sort of a tempestuous, bitter truce with people you used to love.

Indiana Jones is a boring professor of medieval south american history, who is growing dreadfully aware of how irrelevant his specialty is in a post-modern world in the throes of the cold war.

Over two decades have passed since the time his students considered him an object of lust; and those women, now old cantankerous hags embittered by the excesses of World War II, please him not.
Now, not even the promise of a generous grading can get any of his current set of female students to give him time of day. The classrooms where he's spent so many of his years lend themselves to an easy metaphor for his life - a multiple failure, stuck in the same class as the decades roll on and the people around him and the clothes they wear and things they say change. Leaving him trapped, incapable of finding the right answers that will let him move on to the next grade of life.

He finds himself increasingly taking refuge in a perhaps imaginary world of old school adventuring but realises the hollowness at its core - unless someone else believes in these stories, they didn't happen. It doesn't help that the tales are extremely improbable - built around ludicrous premises like him having escaped an atom bomb by hiding in a lead refrigerator while fleeing from Russian agents on the hunt for mummified aliens.

In a last attempt at asserting his masculinity, he embarks on a disastrous sexual liaison with one of his young students; one where he takes the girl's consent for granted. The FBI instantly puts him on its most wanted list and he's brutally interrogated and indicted as a child abuser. One of the films most poignant and heartbreaking moments finds Jones unwilling or unable to comprehend the magnitude of his crime. Even as he's being tortured by the overzealous Feds, Jones believes this is a consequence of his run-in with the Russians and extra-terrestrial artifacts; believing his sexual transgressions are too 'silly' to merit such serious punishment.

Fired from his university job, due to his lack of a formal apology and his persistent delusions about the Red Peril, Jones is at a loose end, planning on spending the rest of his days in pastoral Africa or South America, the sites of his greatest imagined triumphs when he's kidnapped by a young aggressive homosexual.

After several scenes of torture involving spiders, monkeys, and improbably enough, spider monkeys, Jones, now in a state of almost total insanity is taken to the young man's hovel where his brain flickers back to life and he comes to a horrifying realisation. That the hideous white trash CHUD of a mother of the boy is an ex-flame and that his rapist and captor could possibly be his own son!

The rest of the film lapses into a weird almost parodic take on the sentimental family drama where the various characters come to terms with each other's failings and misgivings and learn to accept one another, though the bleak subtext is that the only option is suicide or an orgy of murder. Towards the end, Jones stuck in a deadbeat job caring for terminally ill animals muses on his long slippery slide down from the comforting womb of middle class respectability, even as UFOs manifest on the horizon, casting a shadow on all the viewer's conclusions and preconceptions about the film, its enigmatic central character and his experiences.



 
Discuss (4 posts)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Jun 12 2008 09:50:35
This thread discusses the Content article: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Saw this last night and frankly, this review was a hell lot more entertaining than the movie. Fucking awful and boring.
#4698
Re:Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Jun 12 2008 13:03:12
Yeah, what he said. We should have just read the review again and saved on the money. This was horrible and it went from boring to suckage to boring to suckage till the whole movie just kind of collapsed in on itself. The Suckleshpur film industry seems to be thriving.
#4714
Re:Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Jun 12 2008 13:22:34
I had an option of going to either this or 21 some days back. We went for 21 and completely regretted it for it was a most fuckall movie. I guess the same thing would have happened with Indian Jones...
#4716
Re:Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Jun 24 2008 13:11:01
Hey, awesome article. They should have gotten you to write the script.
#5030

You need to login or register to post comments.
Discuss...
< Prev Article   Next Article>
pete maneosteeny bikini cabanakirsch drapery rodsdelgard fencehaemorroidsaluminized glovesbondage hogtiesitstayfetchpaula garces nudehildago ringsgravitation the rage beatjmatch.comangie cepeda desnudadisneyximmigrant song led zepplinsportsart treadmillsyoung jeezy standing ovationeva ionesco freeviviana gibelli photospenectomy storiesfemale headscissorsfirestorm spark plugboys briefs pubertytechnodykemapp vs. ohiopedal to the metal kazzermultibreastamanda bynepeanutbutterjellyhannah delmontejohn stamos shirtlessdeb talansimplicity sergerlambchop puppetnadja peulenwayne gretzskyinner universe origacricoid cartilagemsxxlscotty pippenswavorski crystal beadschristina millian nakedpanamal canalskat trak tiresfutanari mangahomesites asheville mountainlexicompflaccid cocksliyricskenny chesney summertime lyricskogyarubohemian birth chartadrianasagesuzzane sommersfxpansion bfdaudey murphyr1 undertailsaucuba japonicahalbach arraypaloma de alencar fiuzaerica gimpeldeep throteryszard antolakelizabethan hairstylesshrek gingerbread mantialandayano natsukibeavershotsjason mamoarichard macdonald flair across america posterdamien hurstkasihnya lailac130 gunshipbreckwell pellet stoveweinermobilebull terriorgaggerkabbalah red string braceletcyclops polyphemuskenda motorcycle tiresdogs mating to a dummythoungsmaque chouxaisha haadifarrah wanton wifelactic acid yeast wafersjerry riopellebulging crotchesamplestuffinsane clown posse the great milenkoponarisred string kabbalah braceletalbertarose based business home opportunitygambrel barn planstslustm1 carbine magazinesfindpicsshay locomotivepoledancerslayla unpluggedtasadaypolyphemus the cyclopsmyrlie eversbrodequinminnie guptaweedy sea dragonkuribohtobbaccohostopialinda rondstadtschatt morgan knivesschatt and morgan kniveswakan tankaolberding.bizeminem hellboundthe hives walk idiot walkrebecca frezzacleodoratriquatrahoneylocustrosea parksnudecardsdudetfeetheat.comtroy dumais1961 pontiac venturalepercycustomvuewar in iracabu grahibperformance teknique ampsspantaneeusspantaneeus xtastygenna davisredken color fusiontubing bender plansscissor sharpenernude suntanningnatalie gulbis in bikinisharking japanbeth morggankottonmouth kings tangerine skychelmno concentration camplittlez bbsnymphomaniczoomastiginastaremagazinewaterquest canoefood pyrimidstill tippin uncutdark magican girlgry bay nudepostyourwifegarffitisportsbabesaquabats pool partydarien intra coastal homesitekarine steffanwwe devascharlotte church moodswingsfamous racehorsescanopen protocolrifle ballistics chartgustav klimptcwnews.comangelina weld grimkerain mikamuramatafixjoya de cerenorek air purifierhoward behrens my belovedchristina agularkimberly meissner007nightfirenfl fatheadsepiphyllum oxypetalumtaiorahandicap equipped vanskirk franklin brighter dayjenny hiloudakijamsai.comulla darnisilversmithing suppliesdirty kuffarbmw f800nami tamaki mp3xts 5000crock pot recepiesukranian nymphetwindvest windshieldsspondyloarthropathiescancan mp3laproscopic hysterectomygelclairomak stampedemediacom webmail loginjuliya chernetsky nudekevin zegerhayward pool vacuumsseigneurial system